...and i thought princeton was already too conservative 7 years ago

I am disgusted. Thoroughly sickened. Sure, it's no news that conservatives and the Christian right are total hypocrites for staking their claim on morality while simultaneously seeking to further their own monetary or even racist agendas. But in perusing the website for The Nation for the first time, I came across a cover story detailing a wealthy, stealthy conservative agenda to take over the world of academia. Funny, even back when I visited Princeton as a prospective college in '99, before the Madison Project actually took off there, according to this article, I decided against it because the student body seemed too conservative for my likings. Hah, I guess that just shows how much of a polar opposite I am to those crazies that are taking over Princeton / running our country. :/

I mean, how can they claim to be moral Christians when, according to the Bible, they'd be the worst out of anyone? Okay, they're claiming that their pro-life stance is a result of their desire to preserve life at all costs; so why are they pro-death-penalty? If they claim that God is supposed to pass judgement on everyone, then who are they to a) determine when someone should be put to death, and b) put them to death? Why are they all so damn rich, and believe they can or should coerce people to correct moral values using their financial power? Isn't there a Biblical saying about it being easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to go to Heaven? And I'm tired of people conflating "traditional" values with "correct, moral" ones. Sure, maybe things seemed nicer and more proper to white people in the '50's, but oh yeah, they were mostly racist and sexist too. And a lot of the actions of conservatives in power in this country appear to be no different. They cut taxes for the rich (mostly whites), while removing funding for programs to help the poor (mostly people of color). They remove protections for working-class people and immigrants, while at the same time profiting from their exploitation. They just so happen to wage wars on countries with lots of oil. Oh, did they not notice that they had no evidence of a tie between Iraq and Al Qaeda? Maybe all brown-skinned people look the same to them...honest mistake, eh?

Yeah, they're right, our country is becoming more and more morally bankrupt. But the worst offenders are the people with the most money. Yay, capitalism. Let's see, if you build a system in which financial superiority results in success and power, is it surprising that the greediest people will end up on top?? It ain't rocket science, folks.

Anyway, frustrating diatribes aside, I really liked the article. It's really refreshing to see such a cogent and comprehensive criticism of the underpinnings of conservatism. Reading things like that are a huge step up from listening to frustrated but underinformed fellow student activists, or listening to politicians spout rhetoric on NPR. Of course, I have lots of respect for both activists and NPR, of course, having been and worked with the first and listened to the second almost every day. But as a first-time The Nation reader, I was impressed by its depth of analysis and evidentiary support (woah, been dating a law student for too long). I definitely plan to continue seeing what its writers have to say in the future.

baboons

...randomly watched Animal Planet this morning and saw a rerun of "Growing Up Baboon," about a baboon conservation in South Africa. It's amazing how much care they are able to give the baboons, to the point of being strikingly like raising a family and setting them off into the world. Plus the little ones were so cute! They actually had diapers on and were being bottle-fed. Maybe I've just grown a soft spot for babies. *sigh*

i know, i know

so, it's been a long time. i'm not going to try to make up for lost time, because the amount of time that would take would probably deter me from ever blogging again.

i've been really, really angsty the past week, a symptom of the cycle i have perpetually been going through since i left high school and began college: every once in a while, i'll hit a really big low and wonder what my purpose in life is, or more accurately, whether there is one at all. it probably sounds very melodramatic, but it happens nonetheless. and now that i'm out of school and no longer have school to be at least a temporary 'purpose,' i feel it more often than not. and above all else, it's ANNOYING!! :I

catherine has a hunch that maybe i feel this way because i no longer participate in hobbies, causes, or what have you, that i'm really invested in. i'll admit there's truth to that. in addition to working relatively long but more or less reasonable hours at my full-time job, i also do tutoring at DCP on mondays *and* tuesdays, drum lessons also on tuesdays, yoga on wednesdays, and swimming on saturdays, and i haven't been doing any of these things for more than a couple months. and on top of that, i still stay awake at times thinking about all the other things i want to do that i don't have time for, like teaching myself more math, reading lots of books, learning to improv on the keyboard, running, cooking, singing, biking, etc....basically i want to do everything. and catherine's argument is that since i haven't been doing any of these things for very long, none of them will give me the sense of reward or joy that i used to get while singing with EP or playing the piano pre-college; i'd done those things for so long that it meant more to do them. furthermore, she says that if i continue jumping around among hobbies, i'll always be chasing satisfaction, and it will always remain elusive.

i do see the wisdom in this, and even just trying to write out all the things i want to do makes it seem obvious that i am searching for something. at the same time, though, what spins me into my cycle of depression is the realization that most of these things i want to do are just that: things. most of them diminish at some point to being nothing more than interesting hobbies, amusing pastimes. what i really value most is love, trying to become the most loving person i can so that i can make a positive difference in people's lives. and not only the hobbies, but even my job seem very far away from that right now. okay, i thought of a cheesy analogy, and now i have to write it: it's like Belle in the disney adaptation of Beauty and the Beast, where she sings, "there must be more than this provincial life." don't you hate it when you think of corny things like that, and then you just can't help saying them? okay, maybe it's just me....quiet, you! oh god, i'm so clichée.

anyhow, whatever it is i'm looking for, i don't think i've found it yet. i'm not so much in the throes of despair at the moment, having successfully (i hope) pulled myself out of that stage. but i still have this big question mark in my mind. in the meantime, i'm going to stop blogging at the office and get my butt home already.