i have come full circle today, friends. after some SERIOUS falling out drama last night with someone in the family, and i'll spare you the gory details, i was totally crushed, angry, insulted, guilty, depressed, embarrassed, and frustrated all rolled into one me. i spent much of the day pretty much incapacitated, stuck at home and wanting to see friends but not really wanting to leave the house, wanting family but not really wanting it...and all the time wondering how my life became so dramatic all of a sudden.
thank goodness my girlfriend stayed on the phone with me from across the country, trying her best to support me even though she is involved in the complex web of relationships that make up this drama herself. i'm so lucky to have her; she stuck with me through my ranting, my slight tantrums, and my grief. i love you honey!!
and after that i went to dinner with a couple good friends from pre-college years, after they each let me rant to them individually on IM and on the phone; i even felt safe enough to start trying to patch things up.
and lastly, a girl's night at Sarah's with fondue and laughter and Project Runway! YES, what could have been more therapeutic?? i love that so many times in my life, just when circumstances have become almost too much to bear, some timely rescue has come in often unexpected forms, to remind me of all there is for me to appreciate. *satisfied grateful sigh* i love my friends! thanks y'alls.
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I'm glad you were able to find a space where you could feel safe and wind down a bit from that experience. It's always ugly getting into fights with family, because it's never just about what happened at that event. It drags in everyone else's relationships too, and can get pretty messy. Not to say those aren't important, they certainly are very important. But it makes it hard to figure out what's really going on between the two principal people involved. There's so many issues to deal with. I'm glad you were able to find some mental and emotional space where you could simply be quiet, feel safe, and hear your thoughts and your feelings. You were saying before that you feel closest to "you" when you are open, warm, compassionate, caring. That's the space where great things happen, both internally - your relationship with yourself - as well as externally, to your relationship with others.
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